How to invest

in well-being

with

Making

Energetically

Sound

Transactions

Esther Dageraad

Say yes, mean yes, do yes

The 1U Company

Prologue

Wikipedia:

In 1948, psychologist Bertram R. Forer gave a personality test to his students. He told his students they were each receiving a unique

personality analysis that was based on the test's

results and to rate their analysis on a scale of 0

(very poor) to 5 (excellent) on how well it applied

to themselves. In reality, each received the same

analysis:

On average, the rating was 4.26, but only after the

ratings were turned in was it revealed that each

student had received identical copies assembled

by Forer. This is the text all the students got:

You have a great need for other people to like and

admire you. You have a tendency to be critical of

yourself. You have a great deal of unused capacity

which you have not turned to your advantage.

While you have some personality weaknesses, you

are generally able to compensate for them. Your

sexual adjustment has presented problems for

you. Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you

tend to be worrisome and insecure inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have

made the right decision or done the right thing.

You prefer a certain amount of change and variety

and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by

restrictions and limitations. You pride yourself as

an independent thinker and do not accept others'

statements without satisfactory proof. You have

found it unwise to be too frank in revealing

yourself to others. At times you are extroverted,

affable, sociable, while at other times you are

introverted, wary, reserved. Some of your

aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic.

Security is one of your major goals in life.

Well, dear independent thinker.....

Do you feel the desire to use more of your

capacities to your advantage, to free yourself

from a wide range of limitations and restrictions,

to gain confidence in doing the right thing,

wanting to check your aspirations to reality in a

way that can be described as safely

adventurous.......?

May I invite you to experiment with the method

of making Energetically Sound Transactions as

described in this book?

Obviously, I don’t expect you to take my word for

it that it is a wise investment in well being! But I

trust that you have got everything it takes to find

out if there is enough satisfactory proof:

-

You are serious!

-

You are playful!

-

You have decades of experience in life.

-

You can learn anything you really put your

mind to.

-

You want to enjoy the good things of life!

I appreciate that you have a busy life with many

responsibilities, demands and tasks having to do

with people who play an important part in your

life.

The last thing you need is somebody who doesn’t even know you, telling you how to shape your life,

giving you extra tasks on top of those that are

already there!

Good News:

This book IS about training your awareness and

ability to follow your own advice in any activity or situation that present itself in your everyday life.

Would you like to learn how to have an open

connection with the best advisor in the whole

wide world you have ever met?

The One trustworthy advisor that dedicated his

existence to be completely devoted to your well

being?

Yes?

A mirror gives you an image of what your loyal

personal advisor looks like.

This book provides you with ways to invest in a

playful powerful working relationship with this

wonderful being.

I hope you RSVP the invitation.

I had the pleasure of composing this piece of writing on behalf of your beautiful self .

Esther Dageraad

Overview

‘ Be true to yourself’ is a beautiful advice that is

wide spread as an ingredient to have a fulfilling

life and to grow in your development as a human

being.

However, finding a practical handle on connecting

with yourself and share who you really are in a

satisfying way, for both yourself and the people

around you, in ever changing conditions, can be

challenging.

This booklet invites you to cooperate happily with

all the aspects that are a valuable part of YOU.

Learn to value your mind, your body and your soul

as your best advisors. Work with an ultra short

checklist as a guide and it is possible to seriously

play and have fun developing yourself and your

circumstances!

You can invest any amount of time you have

available, any amount of money and it can be

done where ever you want it, whenever you want

it.

In this book you will find the answers to the following main questions:

What are Energetically sound transactions?

 Compared to Unsound Transactions

How can you increase the amount of

Energetically Sound Transactions you make with

yourself?

 Practical things you can do to train your

awareness and skills

How can you increase the amount of

Energetically Sound Transactions you make with

other people?

 Practical things you can do to train your

awareness and skills

Why do Energetically Sound Transactions work?

 Down-to-earth reasons and spiritual

reasons.

What is the power of each component in an

Energetic Sound Transaction?

 The power of expression, position and

action

What are Energetically sound transactions?

Every time you do something, you are making a

transaction in energy. You are literally investing

your energy in the activity and you get results

from doing so.

You make the effort because it seems the right

thing to do, to achieve something you want to

achieve.

It’s a process of ‘send’ and ‘ receive’.

Whenever you do something you really don’t like

doing, it feels like it is only costing you energy and the result is very often ‘ feeling miserable’ .

If you are doing something that you enjoy, it feels

as if the activity is also giving you energy.

Both are transactions in energy, but the second type is called here an ‘Energetic Sound

Transaction’ .

In an Energetic Sound Transaction, the energy

keeps on flowing: away and back. You send it

through whatever it is that you are doing and it

comes back to you, refreshing and re-energizing

you.

In an Energetic Un sound Transaction, there is a

blockage somewhere. The energy can’t flow

freely, fully and happily through you and

whatever it is that you are creating and back.

When there is a blockage somewhere in the

process, no matter how much effort you put into

‘sending’ your energy.... it has trouble finding its

way back to you to re-energize you.

Looking at the outcome, it’s possible to identify an

Energetic Transaction as Sound or Unsound.

If afterwards, there is a sense of feeling ‘ drained

of energy ‘ , ‘dog tired’, ‘ grumpy’ or any other

unpleasant feeling it’s an indication that the

Transaction was Unsound, somewhere along the lines.

If you feel ‘ pleased’ and ‘ happy and confident’

afterwards, you have completed an Energetic

Sound Transaction.

Fortunately, it is possible to identify the type of

transactions also in earlier stages.

It can be done whilst the transaction is taking

place, but also even before the decision is made

to engage in a new activity!

By training the awareness of what is going on

energetically in the transactions, blockages can be

detected and dealt with sooner.

It’s an investment in a more fulfilling life: receiving

nicer results and enjoying the way of getting them

more, by being the best version of YOU.

An Energetically Sound Transaction in 7 words

An Energetically Sound Transaction always fits in

this description:

“ Say ‘ yes’ , mean ‘ yes’ and ‘ do ‘ yes’ “

The whole Transaction is positively aligned: what

is said, matches completely with what is meant

and with what is done.

The version “ say ‘ no’ , mean ‘ no’ and do ‘ no’ is

also Energetically Sound, because the answers are

all the same. The difference is, there is no

Transaction taking place. There may have been a

proposition, but the desire to follow it through

wasn’t actually there, so the decision was made

against it. No energy gets spilled in something

that wasn’t fully desired.

Spontaneous Energetically Sound Transactions

occur regularly.

However, sometimes everyday life doesn’t unfold

itself so smoothly, spontaneously.

Whenever that occurs, you are presented with an

opportunity to make a choice about improving the

energy flow in the Transactions that are taking

place.

All it takes is investing some time to look into what is happening right in that moment and find

clues where you can align the answers on all three

levels ( saying, meaning and doing).

Why do people make Unsound Transactions?

Does it sound very obvious that investing your

energy in things you really want and like feels

good? Good!

However, many people are often shaping their

lives based on making Transactions where the

three answers don’t align into one simple and

calm ‘yes’.

Can you thing of a situation where you said ‘ yes’,

meant ‘ no’ and did ‘ yes’ ?

It is usually done to please others. Did you for

instance agree on having another drink, although

you were not thirsty, wanted to go home, or don’t

even like the taste of the proposed beverage? .....

Do you sometimes say ‘ no’ , mean ‘ yes’ and do

‘no’? Maybe if somebody is offering help or goods

that you can really use, but you decline it out of

‘modesty’ or ‘ independence’ or being afraid of

having to do something back?

What about saying ‘ no’ , meaning ‘ no’ and doing

‘ yes’ ....? Have you ever set a boundary that you

didn’t want something and you gave in anyway?

Ever tried to change behaviour you didn’t like of

yourself anymore: stop eating crisps every day,

don’t watch television during daytime anymore,

eat too much food at every meal.....?

Ever found yourself doing it anyway?

Can you think of a situation where you said ‘ yes’ ,

meant’ yes’ and did ‘no’? Wanting to learn

something new, experience something new, but

taking no action to actually do something about it,

maybe?

Or do you sometimes say ‘ yes’, mean ‘ no’ and do

‘ no’ ? Promising to do something, already

knowing that it is highly unlikely that you are

going to put energy in it...? “ I’ll call you!” , “ I’ll

read the book you liked so much” , “ I love this

cake, can I have the recipe?” What is you are

hoping to achieve in doing this? Making a good

impression, avoiding conflicts.. hoping that they

will forget about your promise and just remember

how nice and friendly you are?”

Is it wrong to make Unsound Transactions?

Chances are that you recognize your own

behaviour in the examples. Is there anything

wrong with that? Is it ‘ wrong’ to make Unsound

Transactions?

The Good News is, there is nothing ‘ wrong’

about it and there really is no reason to give

yourself a hard time for doing it!

You are free to engage in any transaction you like.

If you feel the best thing to do in the situation is

to ‘ give in’ or ‘just be polite’, then you can trust

that it is the best thing to do in the situation.

However, it may be fun to experiment on

moments where you would normally easily be

triggered to make an Unsound Transaction (and

you don’t enjoy doing it and/or the effects

anymore) , to open yourself up for alternatives to

see what happens.

It is entirely up to you how you choose to make

the transaction. When and where you feel safe

enough to try something different.. you may want

to choose to choose something new!?

Just keep in mind:” If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.”

The chances of getting miraculously better results

for doing nothing different, are minimal.

If you don’t particularly like the process nor the

result, there is little to lose and much to gain in

experimenting safely adventurous with a different

approach.

Do you feel a tingling curiosity reading these

lines? Would you like to see if increasing the

amount of Energetically Sound Transactions in

your life really pays off in feeling energized, in

enjoying life more?

Read this before your start experimenting!

Before you start training yourself with making

more Energetically Sound Transactions, there is

something you’d better be aware of in advance.

Being true to yourself, making more and more

Energetically Sound Transactions , is about

connecting with yourself and experimenting with

new behaviour.

Like with everything else you want to learn: It is fun most of the time, but sometimes also

confronting if it doesn’t go as desired.

Especially when you discover something that you

consider (on a deep level) very valuable and you

feel the fear that you couldn’t have what you

needed, you may find yourself experiencing

strong emotions and resistance.

At the end of the next chapter, you will find

suggestions on how to deal with these challenging

situations.

Please make sure to read the chapter on ‘ fear

driven transactions’ to be aware and prepared.

Making Energetic Sounds Transaction with

yourself

The fun in training yourself in making more

Energetically Sound Transactions begins with

making more Energetically Sound Transactions

with yourself.

Yourself, who is that?

It is everything that makes you, YOU. Your body,

your mind, your soul, your special skills and abilities, your interests.... all the components of

the whole package YOU.

Whether you notice it or not, you are making a

whole lot of Transactions with yourself in the

course of every day.

Thousands of tiny decisions on actions in :

When to move, where to move, when to eat and

drink, what to eat and drink, when to stop eating,

where to look, what to ignore, what to give

attention to.....

Many of them go on ‘ autopilot’ .. they have

become habits out of years of experience. They

are the results of your learning process. Your

answers to the question:”What works best?”

If you like the results of these transactions....

don’t fix it if it ain’t broke. If it works for you, it

works for you!

But if you feel you are missing something

important, whether you have a sense in what

direction to look for it or not....then a good point

to start the search for new answers, is to pay more attention to the Transactions you make with

yourself.

There are many ways to monitor the quality of the

Transactions you make.

Keeping a journal

As said earlier, in hindsight it is easy to identify

the quality of your Transactions. If you feel

energized, it is Sound, if you feel drained,

something went Unsound.

You can use ‘ hindsight’ actively, by keeping a

journal for a while.

You can write about anything, obviously, but for

the purpose of training your awareness of the

Transactions you make with yourself... focus first

on the things you did ‘ on your own’ , ‘by

yourself’, ‘ within yourself’ , ‘ independent of

others’ .

List all the things you really enjoyed in that day,

that you felt good and energized about under

‘Good Things to Enjoy Right away’ .

For example:” I enjoyed my walk in the sunshine to the post office, taking the beautiful route

through the park”

Seeing and appreciating actively the things you

are enjoying is a very powerful action to take. It

doesn’t only complete an Energetically Sound

Transaction with an extra Energetic Sound

Transaction:” I am pleased with something, so I

take the action to express what I am pleased

with”. It also trains your awareness on the

occasions where you feel satisfaction and gives

you clarity on what you really like.

List the things you experienced in that day as

‘tiring’ , ‘ draining’ , ‘ boring’ under ‘ Good Things

to Enjoy as a learning experience’ .

For example:” Fixing my bike took a long time and

didn’t go according to plan. My tools were

misplaced all the time and I broke a piece when I

thought I was nearly finished and I had to invest

another half hour. And to be honest I just didn’t

want to do it but kept pegging away at it, being

frustrated”

Pick one or two events from the day and specify the three components of the Transaction honestly

in all details:

I said:” ............”

I meant:” ..............” describe thoughts and

feelings you were (semi-) aware of

I did:” .................”

The bike incident may look like:

I said:” I have to fix my bike. It is broken and fixing it will take me half an hour.” (‘ Yes’)

I meant:” I want my bike fixed to be able to cycle,

but I don’t feel like doing it myself, but that’s the

cheapest option. I would rather spend some time

reading a book because I am tired.” (‘ No’ )

I did:” I repaired the bike anyway but didn’t enjoy

it at all because it took more time then I wanted

and it didn’t go according to plan.” (‘ Yes’ )

You don’t have to do anything with this for now.

Just writing it down is enough to start with.

When you feel like adding another exercise in the

mix, you may want to monitor yourself also at

times during the day.

How do I feel?

With these exercises you learn to take (more

accurate) notice of your feelings.

Your feelings are a valuable source of information

in knowing what you really ‘mean’.

But in order to appreciate the information, you do

have to pay attention to them and learn to

understand what they indicate.

In this exercise, you’ll ask yourself several times a

day :” How do I feel right now?”

A way to remind yourself of the desire to ask

yourself this question a few times during the day,

is by adding of removing something on your wrist.

If you’re used to wearing a watch, you can

remove it for some time. Every time you want to

check the time... missing the watch will remind

you of the question:” How do I feel right now?” .

Or, if you choose to add a bracelet... every time

you see or touch the bracelet that wasn’t there

before... you get a reminder for asking yourself

the same question.

You can start this exercise by just ‘ feeling’ how you feel and giving it a name. You don’t have to

do anything else with it, to start with.

Just acknowledge, if you dare out loud, what you

really feel:

-

“ I feel tired”

-

“ I feel relaxed”

-

“ I feel hungry”

-

.....

If you find it difficult to name the feeling. You can

simplify the question:” Am I feeling happy, now?”

and simply answer it with ‘ yes’ or ‘ no’ .

When you have done this for a while, you may

decide to ‘do’ something when you are

experiencing feelings you don’t really enjoy as

such.

If you’re not happy.. do something else!

If you feel ready for it, you can expand the

exercise.

You keep on monitoring regularly how you feel, during the day. If you feel ‘ happy’ , you can just

continue doing what you were doing.

If you wouldn’t describe it as ‘ happy’, but rather

in an unpleasant category ... then stop for a

minute what you are doing and see if you can do

something else.

It can be the smallest thing, like counting to 10,

whistling a tune, washing your hands, stretching

your body, taking a few deep breaths, massaging

your scalp, looking out of the window, get a

drink..... whatever you feel like doing, whatever

you feel you can safely do.

Pay full attention

Multitasking appears to be very efficient: you can

do several tasks at the same time. If you enjoy

doing dividing you attention to simultaneous

tasks.... there is no reason to change anything, is

there?

But if you feel stressed by keeping many balls in

the air and/or you are not really pleased with the

results of your actions, consider that ‘paying full

attention’ is an immensely powerful tool to use for increasing the amount of Energetically sound

transactions.

Investing your full attention into an activity is a

strong Energetic Sounds Transaction in itself.

By focussing all your available attention on it, you

say, mean and do:” I find this important and

valuable to invest my energy in”.

In paying full attention you are much more aware

of what is happening in the moment and you are

able to adjust your actions, if needed:

 Accidents often happen when you are not

paying enough attention. Correcting the

consequences of that, takes most likely

more time and energy.

 If you are working on multiple things at

the same time, chances are that you will

miss (or suppress) any signal that you are

not happy anymore with what you are

doing.. and you will probably go far

beyond your levels of satisfaction.

Wherever you feel you can experiment with doing only one thing at the time, with full attention.

Also paying full attention to changing from one

activity to the next pays off as an Energetic Sound

Transaction.

If you are aware that it is time to do something

else (either because you are feeling tension or

because it is finished), ask yourself the open

question:” What shall I do next?”

If you invest a few minutes in feeling into several

possibilities to invest your full attention in next,

(instead of rushing into the first thing that jumps

at you as a priority) you will find that you are able

to take very quickly many things into account.

Information from your inner world gets the

chance to be processed (are you hungry, thirsty,

tired, restless) and gets a change to be compared

to your current situation in the outside world

(tasks you committed yourself to or activities that

take place around you...)

You can do things quickly or slowly, whatever

feels comfortable. But if you want to enjoy being

fully (re-) energized by what you do, you first have got to invest full energy into any activity:

-

Executing something you have chosen to

do.

-

Choosing the next activity to invest your

energy in.

It touches the basics of how an Energetic

Transaction works: you invest your energy and

whatever you invest in, grows and the energy

comes just as powerful back to you, to be put to

good use in a new activity.... and so forth and so

on.

That also means:

Put loads of attention in something you don’t

really want and it will grow too! Add more tension

to not liking the process nor the results and you

will hate the process and the results even more!

This ‘ negative’ energy comes back to you, just as

powerful as you invested them.

How much more incentive do you need to ‘do

something else’ ? To invest your full attention to

things you really find valuable and important, on

all levels of your being, at any given moment?

A silly thing a day

Training your ability to ‘do something else’ is an

extremely powerful tool in making more and

more Energetically Sound Transactions.

After all, if you do what you always did, you’ll get

what you always got! So, if you don’t like it

anymore.... do something else is a wise decision!

In order to get comfortable with the concept of

‘do something else’, being able to see the fun in

experimenting with it, and learning to handle in a

safe way the ‘ risks’ that come with doing

something you haven’t done before, there is this

playful exercise.

Make a resolution to do ‘ a silly thing’ every day.

Choose to do something that isn’t silly as in

‘stupid’, but silly as in ‘ unusual’, ‘ different’ and

‘funny’. Choose something that is not harmful to yourself or other people.

It can take 5 seconds, it can take 20 minutes.. that

doesn’t matter. Just break somewhere during the

day a pattern of ‘how it is always done, or

supposed to be done’ and do it differently, in the

way you feel like doing would be fun!

For example:

-

Eat desert before the main course

-

Walk backwards to something

-

Jump of a small stone wall, instead of

walking around it.

-

Sleep in the tent in the garden one night

-

Prepare a meal with two ingredients that

normally don’t go together

-

Wish somebody a nice day with a card,

when it’s not his birthday

-

......

A new thing

Another way to train your ability to ‘do something

else’ is to regularly look for something new to

experience that interests you, preferably slightly

out of your comfort zone.

It may also be ‘ silly’ at times, of course, but it can

also be more serious.

-

Walk somewhere different,

-

listen to a different radio station,

-

choose an item you really like in the

charity shop, that you wouldn’t normally

wear and wear it one day

-

do a tourist attraction in your region

Keep in mind that ‘something new’ doesn’t need

to be ‘ buy something’. Many ‘new experiences’

are free.

Also keep in mind to choose something that

attracts you in some way! The purpose of this

exercise is to learn to see more and new

possibilities of experiencing things you like. Not doing things you actually dislike!!

eat when you are hungry

When you feel like adding another exercise...

there is this one, acknowledging your body-

functions as valuable indicators on knowing what

you really need.

On days where you feel free to do so, commit

yourself to the principle ‘eat something when you

are hungry, drink something when you are thirsty,

rest when you are tired, stop eating when you are

full’ .

What is missing?

You know that (in healthy circumstances) when

you feel hungry, your body is asking for food.

When thirsty, it’s a signal that your body wants a

refill of water. When you feel tired, it’s time to

rest.

Although you respond probably most of the time

on the autopilot on these signals, ‘under the

bonnet ‘, this is what is going on:

a) A specific (not nice to feel) signal is given

in your body

b) It signals ‘something is missing’

c) The question ‘what is missing?’ gets

answered

d) The question is asked:”How can it be

obtained?”

e) You take action to move into the direction

of what is missing

f) When there is ‘enough’ you get a new

signal (very nice to feel) of satisfaction

(A full Energetically Sound Transaction has

been completed)

It’s possible to apply the same routine actively on

other not-so-nice-to-feel-feelings.

In answering the question in the exercise of ‘ How

do I feel right now’, you have the signal your body

is giving you (a).

If it’s a (slightly) unpleasant feeling, you can ask

yourself:” OK, it’s a signal that something is

missing... What is missing?” (b)

In (c), you make contact with the feeling and the

thoughts about ‘what is missing’ . The more

calmly and openly you can do this ( so, without

adding assumptions or pressure to it), the more

your intuition will be able to answer this question

for you.

Once you know what the ‘need’ is that your

feeling is referring to, you can go to the next step

and ask yourself (d) :”How can it be obtained?”.

If you are able to let go of tension here as well, to

be open for several solutions, letting go of the

assumption that there is one solution possible, or maybe even none....chances are that you will see

several options of actions you can take.

You choose the option that you like best and act

upon it (e)

You enjoy the joy of receiving what you needed

(f).

A cycle has completed, another Energetically

Sound Transaction has been made, with you

consciously opening up for answers and options.

For example.

On a certain moment you are aware of feeling

‘restless’ . You have been working on the

computer for an hour or so calmly and quietly and

now this ‘restless’ feeling comes over you.

You know that it’s an indication that something is

missing and you stop working on the computer for

now to make contact with the restless feeling to

wonder what it is that is missing.

Many things can ‘pop up’ , because ‘restlessness’

is not labelled to one specific need.

In this case, you become aware of thoughts about

‘walking’ or a desire to ‘breath fresh air’ .

Feeling into it some more, you will realize that

you have a need to move and to do it outside.

Before you go, feel into it some more. How can it

be obtained? You will see several options.. how to

move ( walking/cycling/dancing/do yoga), where

to do it ( in front of an open window/ in the

garden/ in the streets/ in nature).

Pick and chose the one option you like best, that fits your other plans and needs as well and take

the action.

Whether it is an action you take for 5 minutes, or

for the rest of the day.....before you reach the

point of satisfaction for this need.. you are

completing the Energetic Sound Transaction! And

as a result, you will feel energized for it.

And it’s not only the result that is satisfying.

It is also the whole process that has very

enjoyable elements to it.

Maybe you recognize one or more of these

responses within yourself when you are aware of

not-so-nice-feelings:

a) I ignore it, it will go away

b) I hate it, I don’t like feeling like this

c) I panic, something is WRONG

d) I am scared, I may be in danger

e) I try hard to make something good to

happen

Whatever you recognize... you are putting tension

on the process by adding a ‘ no’ along the lines of

‘ saying, meaning or doing’ something about the

signal you get. And the fact that you get the

signal, is indicating that in the ‘ mean-section’

something within yourself is a ‘ yes’: ‘ yes, I need something’ .

If you are able to calmly acknowledge that your

needs are constantly changing, on all aspects of

your life and see the signals within yourself as

good advisors, not only indicating to you on time

that something will need attention and action, but

also helping you to find several ways to achieve

whatever it is that you need, you are cooperating

instead of fighting. Seeing option instead of

problems, with much less effort and much more

fun than creating and defending all the blockages

you raise.

Once you practise with making Energetically

Sound Transaction within yourself, you will see

how often you are tempted to create a blockage

that is objectively not there. How you block the energy from flowing freely yourself, using lots and

lots of energy to build and defend these obstacles.

Fighting against yourself, in the essence.

Assuming, probably, that you are defending

something precious and that you will get hurt, be

in danger and can’t have what you need, if you

don’t invest a lot of time and energy in working

hard in keeping yourself in a equilibrium, within

the given boundaries.

But are those boundaries really there? Or are you

saying ‘ no’ to something that is really precious

and there for you to enjoy?

If you can just let go of the assumption that you

can’t have what you really need, or only if you

suffer for it by working hard.....

need or desire?

One other exercise that is helpful in clearing the

path for making Energetically Sound Transactions

is making a difference in needs and desires.

Being able to see the difference between a need and a desire is a very powerful ability, in making

Energetically Sound Transactions.

A need is inevitable, it has an aspect of urgency, it

fills a distinct and important lack.

Breathing oxygen is a need, feeding yourself is a

need, being warm enough is a need, just as a wide

range of emotional and social needs.

A desire is about something you would like to

experience, a preferred choice out of a range of

possibilities of fulfilling needs.

Wanting to eat an ice-cream is one way to cool

your body.. but you don’t need ice-cream to cool

your body.. It can be done with drinking water, a

swim, going to the shade, removing a sweater,

etc.....

If you ask yourself these questions, every time

you really want something:

-“ What is the real need I have ( right now in this moment) that this is about? What is really

missing?”

- “ What I see as a solution, right now, do I feel that I can have it without any tension, within

myself or in the relation with somebody else?”

If you are doing this exercise for a while, being

really honest with yourself, you will probably

recognize this:

Many things you labelled as ‘needs’ are actually

desires.

In seeing the desire as a need, you may miss the

essence of the real underlying need. In doing so,

you are the founder of your own future

dissatisfaction, even when you get what you

desired.

The reason? You just don’t really and

wholeheartedly enjoy having what you realized,

because it didn’t fill in the real lack you felt, or

didn’t take into account other values you have.

(There was no 100% ‘yes’ in the meaning pat of

the transaction)

With the example of the ice-cream... eating an

ice-cream may be a very good solution to fulfil the

need to cool yourself. But is you want to cut down

on sugar or you feel you don’t have the money to spend on it, or the available ice-cream is not in a

taste you like having.... going forth with having it

anyway, will not completely satisfy you!

In mistaking the desire for the need, you are

creating your own disappointment and frustration

when fulfilling that specific desire stumbles upon

resistance. You think you need ‘ this specific thing’

and you feel you can’t have what you need...time

to weep or battle for it and drain energy in forcing

it to happen?!

But if you can calmly identify the real need ( 100%

mean) and express the real need ( say ‘ yes’ ) ..

chances are that many real solutions will find you

and you can choose which one you like best!

In the example of the ice-cream...

If you went through the trouble of walking in the

sunshine to the bar to buy the ice-cream , thinking

it is the one solution to your need, chances are

you will be very annoyed and extra warm if it is

turns out to be closed or ran out of ice-cream.

This example also shows that it pays off to look

into desires, before they become an urgent need.

Usually your body signals early that something is needed in the near future, giving you time to do

sort something out.

If you pay attention, you know that your body

gives you an early signal about desiring food, in

the near future, without it being urgent yet.

It gives you time to end other activities and pay

attention to finding and preparing food, so that it

is available by the time it gets more urgent.

if you ignore the signal, you will get at some point

the very urgent signal from your body:” I need

food, NOW, no matter what!”

Resulting in less calm and less satisfying ways to

obtain any form of food, healthy or not.

Keeping track on needs and desires within

yourself, gives you valuable clues on where to

make an Energetic Sounds Transactions.

Unsure what needs are?

Google for ‘list of needs CNVC’ to find a list you

can use that to help you identify your real needs.

The smallest action

Very often, you will find that what you really need is not something tangible, but the need to release

tension on an emotional level.

You need to ‘sort out’ something, need to get the

pressure of you whole system, need to slow a

process down, need to get in action......

Very often, especially when there is a lot of

tension going on and you feel trapped by it, or

very stormy inside, it is difficult to let go of the

tension and easily ‘ do something else’ .

But the more tension there is.. the more urgent

the need is to move into the direction of fulfilling

the need. Also, the more difficult it seems to be to

actually start moving, because the tension keeps

you ‘locked’ .

Keep in mind that you just need to engage in the

smallest action you can think of, to move in the

direction of what you really need.

One tiny little action you can take is to express

your need out loud and take a deep breath.

If you listen to what you say and then take it as literally as you can and start doing the smallest

action you can think of that would fit what you

just said, it helps to get the energy flowing into

the right direction.

For example:

If you feel there is a lot ‘on your plate’ and you

feel the tension of how to deal with it, there may

be the need:”I need to sort things out! “

Of course it has to do with processing several

things in your mind. But if you take it literally and start to really sort something out, like socks in a

drawer, or removing the weeds from a patch in

the garden, you are making an Energetically

Sound Transaction with yourself:

You say:” I need to sort things out”

You mean:” I need to sort things out” and you

Do:” I am sorting things out”.

The fact that you are able to do simply the

smallest effortless thing, is very powerful.

In doing so, the need that had you had labelled as very difficult or impossible.. suddenly becomes

literally within reach!

You are releasing the tension. Sorting out socks or

the content of a bag or drawer, is a simple

effortless ‘ sorting task’ . You demonstrate with it

that you can easily ‘ sort things out’ without any

doubt.

This gives a powerful message to your own inner

system. The blockage that ‘sorting out things is

difficult’ gets dissolved. As a result, the happily

and freely flowing energy will flow some more in

the desired direction!

Releasing the tension on the thought process in

your body and mind, by sorting out socks, frees

your mind to be able to start sorting out

simultaneously the affairs in your head.

Literally taking the smallest and most effortless

step you can think of, is a wonderful Energetically

Sound Transaction to make with yourself.

Am I limiting myself?

Whenever you experience tension and frustration if you don’t seem to get what you need, try

asking yourself this question as the smallest step

you can take to see options:” Am I limiting

myself?”

In asking yourself this question, in a curious kind

and open way obviously, you can identify if you

are open for perceiving alternatives.

If you see that you focus on just one outcome..

you are limiting yourself, discarding any other

solution that may be just as suitable or even

better!

If you tell yourself that what you want is not

available for you, for whatever reason your

thoughts present to you, based on messages from

the past ....you are limiting yourself, discarding

any messages in the present that you just have to

open your mind, heart and/or hands for.

If you tell yourself that what you really want from life is not realistic.... you are limiting yourself, discarding any possibility to do the smallest step

into the desired direction.

If this happens (and it will regularly!), take the smallest effortless step you can think of to step

away from this mental position of limiting

yourself.

Try to look at it only with compassion and kind

eyes:” Oups, I did it again, I made my own

blockage by limiting myself.”

Invite the energy to help you to open up for

seeing other possibilities by expressing your

desire to do so, preferably out loud.

Turn slowly around your own axle, paying

attention to what you see. In literally actively

looking at 360 degrees around you, you make the

smallest Energetically Sound Transaction

complete in taking action:

Say, mean and do:” I want to be aware of more

directions.”

ME-time

It is possible to make many Energetically sound transactions, whilst leading a busy life, keeping

24/7 all the balls in the air of work, family, sports

and other social events. However, connecting

with your (true) self works better if you invest

regularly some time to do exactly that: connect

with just you.

Having some ME-time, in every day, is an

Energetically Sound Transaction in itself:

You say:” I want to connect with my true self”,

you mean:” I want to connect with my true self”

You do:” I invest time in connecting with myself”.

If you consider ME-time a luxury you really can’t

afford in your busy life where every waking hour

is spend on things you have to do, but you would

like to have it... then go for the smallest thing!

Closing your eyes after finishing your plate for 5

minutes, stopping somewhere nice for 5 minutes

whilst driving to work, taking a shower.... look for

the smallest options to disconnect from

everything else and do ‘nothing’ at all.

Are you always doing things, probably things you feel you have to do and it doesn’t feel right at all to have such a never ending and often frustrating

workload?

Then probably the best way to deal with this

signal of discomfort is indeed to ‘do something

else’ , being in this case ‘ to disconnect from

everything else.... the attention goes completely

to just being you: ME-time’ .

A few minutes is enough to start with. The world

doesn’t stop turning if you take your eyes of it ,

investing some time in ME-time. No harm is done,

neither to yourself, nor to other people if you do

it wisely.

Once you see that, you may want to have some

more each day: writing in your journal or enjoying

a walk on your own, or taking a long bath with the

cell phone nowhere near?

Listening to your body signals will tell you how

much you need, when you need it and what you

need to do in your ME-time.

Acting upon those signals, even with the smallest

action you can take, will open your eyes that you can have it too!

If you feel you could use some ideas on how to

spend time in your own company, suggestions on

what to ‘do’ in ME-time.... you may want to

consider yoga, mindfulness or meditation-

exercises. These are well known activities to

connect with yourself. But walking, taking a bath,

or just sit and ponder are wonderful ways to have

ME-time.

If you still wonder why having ME-time regularly is

helpful for making Energetically Sound

Transactions.... picture this: The clearest

reflections become visible on the smooth calm

surface of still standing water.

If you are constantly creating waves and your

focus is constantly on the outside world... it is

hard to see a clear reflection of yourself.

And in connecting with yourself, knowing the calm

confident beautiful essence of yourself, are the

answers created to a calm confident ‘ yes’ or ‘ no’

in any Energetic Sound Transaction.

Fear driven Transactions

A fully Energetically Sound Transaction is always done calmly and confidently.

It’s a 100% say ‘ yes’ , 100% mean ‘ yes’ and 100%

do ‘ yes’ .

Or it is a calm and confident: 100% say ‘ no’ ,

100% mean ‘ no’ and 100% do ‘ no’ and then the

Transactions doesn’t take place, without any

tension or hesitation.

Any learning process comes usually with some

tension and excitement. Learning how to make

more and more Energetically Sound Transactions

is no exception. Once you start to experiment

with new options, the percentage are probably

not entirely 100% to start with.

No worries! If the percentage to go for it is

reasonably high... go for it and learn! You are

broadening your experience, based on new

experiences. There is fun to be had in trying

something new, especially when you like the

results, of course!

Whenever there is a whole lot of agitation, tension, worries, doubts, unwillingness, excuses,

and you don’t feel safe enough to experiment,

you are constantly switching between ‘ yes’ and

‘no’ on something, it’s wise to look into it some

more before diving into taking the actual action.

Keep in mind that if you are not ( for the most

part) simply and in a calm way aligning the three

answers to what you say, mean and do, it doesn’t

qualify as Energetically Sound!

This is always a signal that the different aspects of you have issues that need attention. They haven’t

surrendered yet to a calm and confident position

to ‘ go for it’ in the transaction. But parts of you

have some desire to give it a try.... otherwise you wouldn’t swing between the ‘ yes’ and ‘ no’

constantly or feel such strong turmoil about it! If

it is Energetically Sound and you really don’t want

it nor need it, it would be a calm 100% ‘ no’!

Usually there is a underlying fear that waggles its

tail, that needs looking into, to find your calm and

confident position from which to pursuit.

It can be done to invite the fear to make a

separate Energetically Sound Transaction with you

first, with full attention.

Initiating the dialogue with ‘ fear’ takes some

courage, because it may hurt!

But making contact with it, feeling into it, asking

questions and cooperate with it is the way to

solve the issue in an Energetic Sound way.

The more experience you get in facing your own

fears, the better you’ll get an understanding of

what is happening and how you can deal with a

nasty sting on an emotional level.

Most of this emotional pain is experienced when

you hit on the surface of a pattern you have

developed to ‘survive’ in life.

That surface is ‘under tension’ to protect you from

pain. But if you approach it, examining it to see if

it still suits you, it acts in a reflex on this ‘threat’,

even if it’ s you who is touching it.

If that reflex or the pain scares you off to make

contact with it....maybe these images help you to

have confidence in the learning process and to have fun with it:

-

Remember that it is only a very energetic

burst you feel, it is not a real tiger

jumping at your throat. People around

you don’t see the danger you are

experiencing.

-

Acknowledge that it’s your own energy.

Does it feel powerful? Good! It’s your own

power you are feeling! Power you can add

to the energy in achieving what you want,

once the blockage is released and

dissolved in love and understanding!

Or do you want to keep spending your

power in defending yourself against

things you don’t want (yourself!)?

-

The fence may be electrified.. but the

scared creature keeping it up can hear

you and actually monitors and values

every little noise you make....

Just say in a kind voice that you would like

to speak to the guard of this fence on his

conditions, because you come in peace ..

chances are that whatever is behind the

fence has a heartfelt desire to be listened

to and spoken to: calmly, freely, lovingly

and with your understanding of the fact

that it is a part of you that loves you so

much that it is working continuously hard

for your safety!

-

As said, it is your own energy. You power

it! If you want to see what is behind the

fence, without being electrocuted....

release all tension in your body, lay flat on

the bed and just breath and be;

surrender. Show that you are no threat

but keep the fence loosely in your

attention, as if you lay in front of the

fence.

Without you powering the fence..

whatever is behind it will show itself to

you. Really, the fence is harmless and

opaque, without power.

If it shows indeed a tiger going for your

throat .... you can always switch on the

power by jumping away! He is never quick

enough, because you have the advantage

of knowing when the power is released!

Changcs are by the way, that you will

connect with something beautiful……

another beautiful layer of yourself.

-

Picture the fear as an abandoned scared

kitten you have found in a shed. You can’t

stroke or feed the frightened hissing

creature with its fur upright (to look as

impressive and dangerous as can be).

How would you deal with such a kitten?

Stay calm, be friendly, show your good

intentions and love, give it every day

something it will like, let it get used to

your presence and attention.. and in a

few days time....chances are you have

made calm and confident contact with

this beautiful creature.

-

If you don’t feel confident at all to ‘ tame

the kitten’ by yourself..... remember that

you can always ask others for help. Some

help from a professional (like a life coach,

or a healer for instance) or sharing your

experiences with people who are dealing

with same issues can really build your

confidence.

-

If you really feel the emotional pain and it

is no fun anymore and you are only

wanting to stop.. you can always stop by

focussing you attention on something

else.

If you can, then say to yourself, preferably

out loud:” OK, This is right now no fun

anymore and I choose to stop here. I

know that I’ve touched now on something

important and I have a desire to learn

from it. But right now, I choose to do

something else.”

Making Energetically Sound Transactions with others

Practising making Energetically Sound

Transactions with yourself, increases your

confidence that you can fulfil many needs,

completely independently from others.

But you live and interact with other people too!

So, obviously the next step is to make

Energetically Sound Transactions with others as

well.

You can’t always have it your way!?

In making Transactions with somebody else, it’s

important to keep in mind that both you and the

other need to ‘say yes, mean yes and do yes’ for

the whole Transaction to be Energetically Sound.

You are not imposing what seems Sound to you

on the other person... but you also don’t have to

give in to anything you don’t choose to give in

neither.

It is not selfish or egotistical, to want your side of the Transaction to be satisfying for you, when at

the same time, you have the desire to let the Transaction be just as satisfying for the other

person too!

The key word here is ‘calm dialogue’ to share

openly information about desires and needs to

identify and clarify possible ways to deal with it in

a satisfying way for everyone involved.

It takes a certain amount of calmness and

flexibility, to see that you can have what you

really need, although the details in ‘ how’ it will be

achieved may be different from how you pictured

it in the first place, since the outcome will be a

coproduction.

If you open yourself up to new ways to achieve

what you really need, you can have it all!

Can you always have it your way?

If you stick to a very specific outcome, the answer

is indeed:” No, you can’t always have it your way.”

But if ‘your way’ is to allow the energy to flow

freely and happily, responding to what is really

there and really missing.....yes, you can have it

your way: surprisingly creative and satisfying.

Communication about needs

The basics of making an Energetically Sound

Transaction within yourself, apply just as well on

making them with others: connect and share,

what is really there, wisely used with full

attention.

But social interaction triggers very often that

buttons are pressed to take actions to ‘ fit in’,

even when it doesn’t feel nice, at all.

We feel inherently that we need things from

others and that our well-being depends on others.

We simply have social needs and we also need

sometimes an extra pair of hands to achieve

something or an expert opinion, advice or goods

we can’t/won’t find or produce ourselves.

Engaging in contact with others that goes

smoothly, is a joy in itself. Sharing thoughts with a

good friend, working with a capable and friendly

co-worker doesn’t feel like ‘work’ . You want the

same thing in the same way and the Energetically

Sound Transactions take place with no effort. It’s

a really nice aspect of life to experience the nice smooth flow of things.

Do you think that when it doesn’t come naturally,

with your bossy boss, lazy colleagues, demanding

spouse, naughty children, noisy neighbours and

various others, it’s just one of those aspects of life

you have got to live with?

Hmmm... ask yourself if you are, by any chance,

limiting yourself with this thought?

What if you can influence the process (and

therefore the outcome!) ?

If you are afraid that something really bad is going

to happen, chances are that you opt for one of

the fear driven strategies to deal with people in

challenging situations.

Take a look at the fear driven strategies and see if

you are limiting yourself to these options when

the going gets tough.

Fear driven strategies:

There are several strategies available to deal with unpleasant tension in interaction with others, that

are for the most part driven by fear:

Fight

Invest energy in trying to realize a very specific

outcome you desire,

Give in

Invest energy in trying to realize a very specific

outcome to keep/make the other happy,

Flight

Invest your energy in leaving the whole situation

as soon as possible,

Hide

Invest energy in being as invisible as you can be,

to make the whole situation go away.

Choosing one of these strategies is

(unconsciously) based on the assumption that

there is a shortage of whatever it is you need in

that moment.

Depending on your experiences in life with similar

situations, you will choose your ‘survival’ strategy

accordingly. In hindsight, very often you don’t feel happy about it.

This is, indeed, an indication that there were

Energetic Unsound elements in the transaction.

If you want to make more Energetically Sound

Transactions, the first step is to actively change

your basic assumption that something bad is

going to happen, the minute you become aware

of tension.

So, in dealing with your bossy boss, lazy

colleagues, demanding spouse, naughty children,

noisy neighbours and various others in social

situations, start with doing the same.

Simply say to yourself:” I wonder how I can get what I need in this situation!” and take a deep

breath.

In doing so, you actively step mentally away from

the fearful, extra tension creating position of ‘ I

can’t get what I really need’ .

It opens you up to explore the situation for what

it is, seeing the opportunities of small steps you

can take to contribute energetically to receiving exactly what you need.

It’s just a variation to the same steps you used for

solving an issue within yourself:

a) A specific (not nice to feel) signal is given

in your body

b) It signals ‘something is missing’

c) Investigate ‘what is missing?’ both within

yourself as in asking questions to the

other person.

d) A dialogue starts around the main

question:” How can it be obtained?”

- propositions are formulated in an open

way

- questions get asked to clarify details

- feelings and thoughts get shared on how

well the proposition sits with each person

- the proposition gets shape, ideas get

combined, whilst talking about it

- an Energetic Sound Agreement is

reached...

e) You (both) take action to move into the

direction of what is missing (either what

you both agreed on doing, or either

parting, if the Agreement is that there will

be no transaction taking place.

f) When there is ‘enough’ you get a new

signal (very nice to feel) of satisfaction

Even if the Transaction doesn’t take place,

because that is what you agreed on, it will

feel right, because you investigated in it

with full attention and (if still necessary,

you can move swiftly and openly on to a

new situation, fulfilling the need yourself

or with the input of somebody else)

Starting such a dialogue with somebody you feel

strongly linked to with safety-consequences (a

boss, a spouse, your child, your neighbours...)

takes some courage, if you are afraid of being

fired, dumped, disrespected or provoked.. That

could mean the end of your tranquil life as you

know it)

But realize that they have a relationship with you as well! Whether they ‘love’ you or not, they have

a preference to invest in the relationship, if for no

better reason, the sake of their own tranquil life!

You are not eager to face drastic changes with an

unknown outcome!? Know: you are not an

exception on that!

If you keep in mind that nobody likes sudden

crises or attacks, you can start a dialogue based

on this Energetically Sound format, where you

acknowledge being equal partners in changing

something in the Transactions that are taking

place .

“ HI. Can I have your full attention please for

something I’ve been thinking about?

I notice that <in situation AA>, I am not enjoying anymore <BB>.

I would like to make a small change, I have a

desire to try something different <in direction

CC>, I am aware that it has consequences for you

too, so I want to talk with you about ways that are

satisfying for us both.

I have given it some thought and I propose to

<DD>, how do you feel about trying this idea for

<period EE>, to see what it will be like?

Try filling in the following:

AA: in our holidays/in my work/ having our

dinners together

BB: going to Spain/knowing clients only from their

voices/ the amount of attention that cell phones

and computers take from the time we spend

together as a family at the table

CC: experiences a different country/ where I can

have more personal contact with clients/ where

we have full attention for each other and the meal

DD: go to Norway or Sweden/visit our close by

clients more often than just contacting them on

the phone/ disconnect all from technology during

our evening dinners

EE: this summer holiday/ the next two weeks/ two

next dinners we have together

People are always communicating about their real needs!

If you are aiming for making Energetically Sound

Transactions, not only with yourself, but also with

others, you may find yourself interacting with

people who are not communicating clearly about

what they need.

You need their input to be able to create an

Energetically Sound Transaction for both of you!

Please start with acknowledging within yourself

that you have the desire for them to communicate

clearly about their needs.

But what you need is information about their

needs, to be able to take it into account.

Still keep in mind that whatever you need is

available for you in right away in abundance, all

you need is pay full attention to what IS really

there.

Train your eyes to observe body language, train

your ears to listen to themes in what people need

in their stories.

Trust your own intuition. Your body serves as one large antenna for energy movement.

If you get in contact with somebody you suddenly

feel restless or scared or not at ease.... your

antenna has pick up on something that something

important is missing.

Is it missing in the eyes of the other? Is it missing

in your eyes? Is it really missing? If it’s really

essential.. whatever lack is felt, can be fulfilled

right there!

If the other person doesn’t see it right away....

maybe you do!

You can help clearing things, by the actions you

take in an Energetic Sound Way.

The process is similar to facing a fear within

yourself and making contact with it, without

forcing anything to happen, wondering what it is

telling you.

If you have done this a few times with dealing

with fears in yourself, you will have gained the

experiences that behind the electrified fence,

behind the raised fur and hissing noises, is

something precious.

If the other person is, for whatever reason, not feeling at ease or able to communicate clearly or

calmly about his or her needs, look at the

situation with kind eyes and use the same

approach.

If you have a sense of what the other person is

missing, see if you can provide it without any

tension, without forcing it. Taking the smallest

effortless step you can come up with.

There is a whole lot you can do without even

saying something.

If you see and feel tension in the other person...

actively relax tension yourself, by taking a deep

breath, by letting the tension go out of your arms,

by bending your knees just a little.

The other person is apparently missing

‘relaxation’ . If you relax, chances are that he picks

it unconsciously up as a sign that relaxation IS

possible in this situation.

If you feel a person is stuck in one view and could

benefit from moving to another mental position..

move yourself! Change the position of your arms

and legs, maybe do a few steps, turn your head and look for a few seconds at something else....

Unconsciously, the other person has to move and

may realize that it is not only possible but also

safe to take another (mental) position.

Remember that you are not responsible for

solving anything for that person. You are following

your own compass, wanting to make Energetically

sound transactions. If it is no fun anymore to stay

in the situation and you feel drained of energy..

feel free to ‘do something else’ and end the

Transaction.

Keep in mind that you have a very clear and

distinct responsibility for your side of the

Energetically Sound Transaction and if it doesn’t

feel right in a calm way to engage or continue in a

Transaction.. you’d better make the Energetic

Sound Decision to do something else (or don’t and

learn from the experience).

Have you had the joy of sharing an Energetically

Sound Transaction with someone? Did you

cooperate on finding a solution you both liked and was it good doing what you agreed on doing?

In social situations, seeing and appreciating

actively the things you are enjoying is a very

powerful action to take.

Again it completes an Energetically Sound

Transaction with an extra Energetic Sound

Transaction:” I am pleased with something ( you

did/we did), so I take the action to express what I

am pleased with”.

Again, doing so trains your awareness on the

occasions where you feel satisfaction and gives

you clarity on what you really like.

Expressing your appreciation for something

somebody did for you or with you, is a free and

powerful energy boost.

Being acknowledged as wonderful and valuable is

wonderful and valuable to everybody.

Why making Energetically Sound Transactions

works? It fits in down to earth advice on

achieving things!

There are many advisors in the down to earth fields of psychology, communication and

management encouraging people to be effective

and successful. The basics of what they advice is

to take into account that in order for people to be

motivated for doing something (you want), in the

long run, it’s better to cooperate with them for

lasting results, rather than trying to force

something on them, by pushing or pulling.

Let’s face it .... you don’t like ‘ being told’ or being pushed into something you don’t want, or being

regarded as a walking wallet..... do you?

Most advisors in the field of psychology,

communication and management will emphasize

that it’s not the short term result of achieving one

specific goal that gives you ‘ raison d’être’ ..

Whether you are just a private person or having

an enterprise, after reaching this one result, life

goes on.. and then what?

It’s investing in a coherent high quality way of

dealing with internal and external influences that

makes a difference. Knowing your unique selling

points, your real qualities and knowing how you

want to use them, fitting your core-values, so you like investing your time and energy in it, day-in-day-out, meanwhile enjoying the fruits of your

work.

Yes, it means cooperating and interacting with

others. There is only so much you can or want to

do on your own!

Cooperating means ‘ working with’. It implies an

equal relationship around a certain theme,

preferably: “ you’re good at something that I

need, I am good at something you need.. let’s

connect and share what we can do for each

other.”

Clarity is always recommended. The clearer you

can communicate about what you want and what

you have to offer, the easier it is to match

demand and supply to a mutual satisfaction.

A certain calm and confident way of doing things

is preferred, not only to avoid making hasty

mistakes. An open and relaxed confident attitude

feels trustworthy and leaves room to improvise

and enjoy the process meanwhile.

A sense of freedom is desirable for most people, the freedom to accept or decline something, the

freedom to give suggestions, to ask questions, to

influence the process.

Why making Energetically Sound Transactions

works. It fits in spiritual information on achieving

things!

There are also reasons that come from the

esoteric and spiritual fields.

Any esoteric and spiritual source will tell you that

life is a constant cycling and recycling of energy.

There is just one energy. All creations come from

that energy source. Because the energy flows

constantly in a cycle of ‘ input – transformation –

output’ where the ‘ output’ is in itself the new

input for the exact opposite process.

Everything that is created comes from either a

separation-process or a uniting process,

constantly transforming energy in matter and

matter in energy.

We human beings are a part of this process.

In the esoteric and spiritual world it is said that we are spiritual beings (energy) in a human form

(matter) and we have this form to develop

spiritually, to give the energy a vehicle to express

itself, to develop, in several lifetimes. Again, it is a

constant process of cycling and recycling, called

reincarnation.

Although the energy has been split into several

billions individual people alive right now on earth,

everybody has a quantity of that one energy, the

essence of his core: the soul. This spiritual energy

spark is what goes from being to being, though

lifetimes. It IS energy, in touch with the source

and knowing its developing purpose for this

lifetime.

In the spiritual guides, it is said that the soul has

chosen it’s ‘ being for this lifetime’ for its whole

package of characterises (the family in which it is

born, the environmental circumstances, the

package of natural skills and interests....) because

those fit to the purpose for its development.

The soul knows its history, its learning path and its

purpose in the bigger scheme of all the energy

flows and will silently guide the ‘being’ to engage in the experiences that serve this process.

The ‘being’ has free choice with every opportunity

that is ‘ coincidentally’ presented on his path.

(“But all things happen for a reason in their own

right time and place”, is something spiritual

minded people say....)

Because of the satisfaction the human being gets

from doing things that serve his (soul-) purpose,

he will develop a preference for doing these

things voluntarily to his best ability.

He will surely be faced with challenges, to learn

from. Learning comes with experiencing different

situations and trying different strategies.. some

work out fine.. some need fine tuning.

In spiritual texts, it is made clear that mankind

seems now to have reached the end of a long

cycle of learning everything there is to know

about ‘ separating’ :

- separating your feelings from your thoughts,

- separating your body from your mind

- separating yourself from your real needs,

- separating yourself from others

(either as ‘better than others’ and taking more of

the resources then you truly need, or as ‘ less than

others’ where both live from a fear of shortage)

- separating yourself from the needs of the earth

- separating your everyday life from a spiritual

need

Like all cycles evoke in some way at some point

their counterpart, a process of uniting has begun.

More and more souls in this world have a desire

to create and enjoy harmony and connect with

like-minded people to actively make this change.

Part of this process seems to be that people

become more aware of their own development in

life and the influence their conscious mind has on

how their lives takes shape.

An important spiritual principle is called the Law

of Attraction. It says that ‘ like attracts like’ . Or,

whatever gets attentions grows. Send = receive.

People become aware that they can only receive

what they can send. Not only by ‘wishing’ it ( say

‘yes’ ) and hope for it to miraculously happen, but also by being (meaning fully ‘ yes’ ) it, by living it

(doing ‘ yes’ ).

When the three align, in an Energetic Sound

Transaction, the Universal energy flows freely and

happily (get ‘send’ ) into what you really want.

Whatever gets (full) attention grows (at high

speed). With actively directing your pure

attention to what you really like, the Law

Attraction brings you more of that, plus returns

the energy to you too!

The duality when ‘ yes’ and ‘ no’ are together in a

Transaction, gets solved in active creations of

people who unite in finding a satisfying solution to

something that seemed to be a problem. It proves

however to be a chance to accomplish something

wonderful, once the effort is made to go for the

unity: the alignment of three times ‘ yes’ ( or

three times ‘no’) for both parties involved. Both

are making a difference to the outcome, both

being the best version of themselves, together

cooperating towards one goal, experiencing that

they can together accomplish more at higher

speed with less effort, then each for themselves could do.

The more people feel that paying attention to the

nature of your Transactions, really pays of, the

more people:

- connect with their feelings and their thoughts,

- connect the mind with the body,

- connect with their real needs,

- connect with others

(as equals, taking not more then you really need,

living live from the understanding there is

abundance)

- connect with the needs of the earth

- connect everyday life with a spiritual desire

If you feel a desire to serve others... in serving

your own true self, based on Energetically Sound

Transactions... you are serving the Universal

Energy and the Universal Energy serves you!

The image of the jig saw puzzle, a spiritual analogy

In a way it is possible to see mankind as a giant jig

saw puzzle.

People have developed in the quest to learn

everything there is to know experimenting with

dualism into curled up pieces of the puzzle that

are afraid to show their true shape and size. They

make an attempt to be squares of the same size,

so they can fit in anywhere, afraid to fit nowhere.

But it takes a lot of tension to be a square, if you

have curves to flatten and grooves to mask!

The puzzle fits indeed, with all those squares, but

the tension is enormous!

Letting go of the tension means relaxing into

being a carved piece of the puzzle, not fitting to

just any other piece on any place in the puzzle.

But the puzzle fits! In shuffling the pieces around,

seeing where it naturally fits and where not, every

piece in the puzzle will find its rightful place in the

puzzle, fitting happily without tension.

The more people start having fun with making the puzzle from their perspective, the more parts of

the puzzle will be laid properly and the easier it

gets for others to let go of their tension and see

their rightful place in the puzzle too.

The Universe is moving the pieces of the puzzle

around, sending each and every one of us that

cooperates with this Universal Energy the pieces

of the puzzle that really fit, all in the right

sequence, in the right time, in the right place.

The power of speech in Energetically Sound

Transactions

Why is ‘say yes’ part of an Energetically Sound

Transaction ? Isn’t it enough to just ‘mean yes and

do yes’?

There are several reasons why speaking gives

extra power to the Transactions, whether you

make a transaction only within yourself or with

others.

Expressing words (either in talking or in writing) is

a deliberate action of ‘sending’ something , with

a purpose to be received. It’s the way to connect

and share actively something with the entity to whom you are directing the message.

Communication is the key to cooperation. Not

only with others, but also within yourself.

If you are not clear whether or not you have

received an important message for you, if you

have understood the message, if you have the

intention of doing something with it and what

that might be and when.....the sender of the

message will either keep knocking on your door

for an answer or go away and find his own

solutions without having all relevant information.

This person is likely to not use your input in the

execution of his actions, because you didn’t

inform him clearly about it.

Other people, just as well as parts of yourself, can

only take into account what you actively share. If

you want to stand a chance on being understood

and being accurately helped, be as clear as you

can be on what you (need to) know and what you

(would like to) experience.

That goes for a friend who offers to get you some groceries from town, or a colleague you promised

to help out with a presentation, just as well as for

your internal value system offering you some help

to sort out priorities, or you imagination offering

you help to see new opportunities, you intuition

offering you help in choosing directions.

By the way, every message needs to be composed

before it can be received. In this action lies also

the opportunity to look into you own message, if

you do it with full attention. Do I use all the

information I have? Am I clear enough?

Saying it out loud, or writing it down gives you the

opportunity to receive your own message through

another channel. If you say it.. you hear for

yourself how it sounds. If you write it, you read it

with your eyes. It helps to give you clarity about

what you ‘ say, mean and do’, just as well as to

others.

The power of the core in Energetically Sound

Transactions

Why is not just ‘doing what you say’ , that makes the Transaction sound? What has everything you

really mean ( your feelings and thoughts and your

needs) to do with it?

If what you do and what you say doesn’t match

your real interests, your real needs and desires

and your own real core values, your true natural

capacities.... you will sooner or later experience

the consequences in a deteriorating well-being.

Living your life according to who you really are is a

(spiritual) need at some point in your

development, not a luxurious embellishment or a

gadget for the happy few.

If you discard the need for food or drinks, you’ll

experience (a lot of) discomfort.. because it is a

need.

If you discard the need for being true to yourself,

you’ll experience (a lot of ) discomfort.. because it

is a need.

Your true self is constantly changing and evolving,

since your needs are constantly changing and

evolving. Sometimes you are hungry, sometimes

you are ‘ full’, sometimes you need sleep,

sometimes you need activities, sometimes you

need to be alone, sometimes you need to make

contact with others.

Just doing what you say may be a good start to be

reliable, but relating it to what you mean (to the

core) is you increasing your responsibility in life.

Response ability.

The power of the action in Energetically Sound

Transactions

No matter what your intentions are, your actions

realize the Transaction. In executing the activity,

energy transforms from one thing into another

thing. A plant gets watered and bears fruit, fruit

gets harvested and eaten, a house gets build with

the energy from wholesome meals.....etc.

You can say that you want something to happen

in your life, and wholeheartedly mean that you

really want it to happen in your life. But if you just

sit back and wait, don’t invest any energy in

opportunities that present itself. If you don’t

invest your qualities in an enjoyable way in

suitable activities having to do with these

desires....the energy just can’t find its way to you,

not in matter, not in energy.

Send = receive

Send is an action.

Summary

An Energetically Sound Transaction is:

Say ‘ yes’ , mean ‘ yes’ and do ‘ yes’

calmly and confidently, without tension.

Energetically Sound Transactions can be made

within yourself and with others. In both, the same

principles apply.

When you are making an Energetic Unsound

Transaction, you are not (fully) pleased or

satisfied with the result because it didn’t fully

match with your needs.

Tension is a sign that there is a blockage; the

energy doesn’t flow freely and happily; from you,

through whatever you are doing and back to

you... re-energizing you.

Put more tension on a sign of tension and you are feeding the blockage even more, actively

investing your energy in disabling the energy to

re-energize you freely and happily!

What you perceive as a blockage, is also able to

provide the solution. Just release the (fearful)

overdose of tension from it, coming from an

perception that you can’t have what you need.

When you are able to switch your position and

start to wonder how you can have in any situation what you really need and that there is abundance,

you may even be presented with choice!

The key is to make a difference between what you

desire (the specific described outcome/phsycial

result) and the need.

Invest in doing to smallest step you can think of in

the direction of fulfilling your need. In doing so

you facilitate the energy to flow freely and happily

in the desired direction.

Train your awareness of what you really need,

train your communication abilities to share

information about it and learn to act upon

wonderful opportunities that present themselves in abundance, using these guidelines:

Pay full attention to choosing your activities and

to their execution.

Say/mean/do: “ When I notice that I am not

happy with what I am doing, I do something else”

Send = receive, so if you are not happy with what

you receive... adjust what you are investing your

energy in!

Follow your own advice!

Say/mean/do:” If I need.....XXXX’ then I start

doing the smallest tensionless physical step I can

think of that fits with that need!”

An open dialogue with the intention to discover a

solution that suits all parties is a wise investment

of energy.

Connect and share all information. Express your

needs as clearly as you can, preferably out loud

and also share ideas on possible solutions. You

may see a solution that the other person is not

aware of!

Asking questions is a powerful tool to invite the right answers to find you.

A very powerful question is:” Am I limiting

myself?” and if the answer is ‘ yes’, take the

smallest effortless step away from that mental

position.

“ Say ‘ no’ , mean’ no’ and do ‘ no’ is also

Energetically sound. Only, the proposed

transaction doesn’t take place because it isn’t

desired by all parties involved.

It’ s a learning process! Rome wasn’t build in one

day and you have decades of experience in doing

things in a certain way! Your fears for doing things

differently are there for a reason and need time,

patience and kind eyes to be released, in their

own time. You do what you can!

So, allow yourself to have fun with it, play with it .

Don’t give yourself a hard time if you are semi-

aware of making Energetic Unsound Transactions

and you don’t like the results. See if you can

release the tension out of it by seeing it as a

learning experience and that you wonder what

you can learn from it.

For this learning process goes also:” If you don’t have fun anymore investing energy in it.... do

something else!  “

Do a silly thing a day. Whilst having fun, you are

gaining valuable new experience in changing

behaviour patterns.

Do a new thing a day. In experiencing the simple

(exciting) joy of discovering new things, you will

gain courage to do other exciting new things, like

trying new behaviour options.

Make sure to express your appreciation for all the

things you receive that you really enjoy, as they

present themselves.

The 1U Company : play more with making

Energetically Sound transactions

On the 1u company website,

http://www.1ucompany.com, you can find various suggestions to play with all aiming to

support to in increasing the amount of

Energetically Sound Transactions you make, with

yourself and others.

There are fully free seriously playful tools and toys

to play with, to name a few:

-

choosing your own JOB,

-

a first aid kit for emotional hurts,

-

a mindful, holistic easy way to extract

wisdom from difficult emotions.

Inspirational stories and articles.

Access to various blogs from Esther Dageraad:

-

on the collective consciousness

-

on freedom of choice

Enjoy!

(-:

Es

ther, born in 1972 in the

In this booklet is the method of

Netherl

ands is an international

making Energetically Sound

advisor in sustainable

Transactions explained.

co

mmunity developments.

It is a wonderful and practical

In her work and play, she

method to enhance your life with

combines insights from the

and to develop as a human being,

field of human interactions

learning to play your unique part in

with information

the bigger scheme with

management, linking the

confidence.

world of matter (science) with

By being aware of your own

the world of energy ( esoteric)

influence on your own life and by

Seriously playful, she refers to

understanding how you can pay

herself also as a pilot in Joy

full attention to the enjoyable and

and a teacher on the Academy

guiding events in your life, life gets

of Sailing the Soul Dream.

easier and more enjoyable every

day.

Al it takes is:” Say yes, mean yes

and do yes”

It is that simple and that

complicated 

L earn more: www.1ucompany.com